I received this in my email box. It is humorous Enjoy for what it
is.
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday
buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You
cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it
has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic
or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later
than you think. It's Christmas!
3. if something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point
of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your
mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim
milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to
control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is
the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while
carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table,
like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the
center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.
Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some
standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you
leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying
attention. Re-read these tips; start over, but hurry, January is just
around the corner.
Have a wonderful Christmas season!!
Author Unknown
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